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Cleaning Up Your Circle Of Influence

Re-calibrating your tribe is the single most important thing to do. Your success is critically dependent on who you surround yourself with.

Photo Credit: Hayley Evans
Your Vibe Attracts Your Tribe

Ok, stop denying it! It is true, so very true that you alone attract the people around you. If you want to make improvements, I mean really want to make improvements, you have to take a long hard look at your friends. Chances are, there are one or two friends that no matter what, you just can’t bring them up to where you think they should be. You, and possibly your other friends, have decided that out of loyalty, you will drag this person along in the hopes that eventually things will turn around for them. Eventually, they will change their attitude…eventually, they will be more positive and see that things are not so bad…. eventually, they will see that they are deserving…. eventually, others will see what you see in them…. eventually, they will see their own potential and live……. EVENTUALLY?!?!?!?!


Here is the truth – loyalty is not enough! You have to love your friends! Love them enough to let them go and make a decision. They must decide if you are worth it! You cannot fulfill your potential when you are literally dragging these friends through life. Make a decision; a so called “selfish” decision to put yourself first. Only when you have become the best possible version of yourself on any given day, can you help others achieve their potential.

Selfish ain’t Selfish!
  • You cannot help these friends if you are not operating at your prime. Something which cannot happen when you are holding onto and dragging along negativity.

  • You are using your valuable energy to improve a situation that you have zero control over….energy that should be focused on yourself, and fueling your potential.

  • No matter how important or powerful you think you are, you cannot control another’s mind. Sounds obvious, but how often do you think you can help someone if only they saw your point of view? How many times have you offered an opinion that was not sought? Is this non-solicited opinion met with negativity in terms of “you don’t understand how hard it is for me”, “that won’t work for me”, “it’s not that easy”, “I’ve already tried that”, “it’s not my fault”, “why are things so hard for me”, “X is so tough/ mean to me”, “life is so hard”, “it all boils down to my childhood & my parents”…..blah blah blah!

You are hindering their ability to improve their lives.

By constantly relying on you to soothe their insecurities and make them feel justified, also hinders their ability to improve and live to their fullest potential. They have to realize that only they can make the necessary changes, no one else. Their decision, right here and right now, is the only thing that dictates their future. Can you imagine how great they will be? Give them the choice, the tools, the compassion to stand up for themselves and be the best they can be. Let them live outside of your shadow of control. Make a choice for quality over quantity.